Days til Internships: 30
In my preparation for this exciting adventure, I've done a few things. I bought some fancy clothes I can wear to an office, also some new shoes, and got some fake nails. I've bought fake nails from the store before when I was younger (as my Mom calls them "Lee Press On Nails") but the shape of my fingers is
I've always bitten my nails. If you can relate, then you will know that I've also never had long nails. I felt like my short, stubby nails made me look like I didn't belong in an office setting. Kind of like when you paint your nails for the first time in a long time, my new nails make my hands feel prettier and more, hee hee, polished. Sorry for the nail pun. (Not really).
Well, anyway, here's Wonderwall.
1. Acrylic nails that only reach the tips of your fingers are actually considered really short.
I told the nail tech that I wanted them short, because I will have a lot of typing to do. I've never had long nails! Ever! And these new acrylics are a lot longer than my real nails ever were any time I managed to grow them out.
So I get home and show them to my Mom and I say "They are still kind of too long" and she looked at me like I was crazy. She said "No, these are really short for acrylics. You're just used to no nails." Mom knows about nails--they used to be her thing.
2. Texting with claws is pretty hard.
My thumb nails are about twice as wide as they are tall--and that's with the extra length provided by the tips of the acrylics. I actually have clubbed thumbs, which just means they're shorter than they should be and look like toes. Some people get really embarrassed about them, but mine are genetic from my grandmother and they've never bothered me. Except when putting on store bought fake nails. Not related.
Anyway, texting has always been hard with my fat thumbs. I press wrong buttons ALL the time. But now its even harder because my nails get in the way, and now I have to text with the sides of my already fat thumbs, making me press even more wrong buttons. I thank Jesus, Beyonce, the Dalai Lama, and whoever actually created autocorrect, for autocorrect every day. And I am also grateful that my friends have learned to laugh with me at my typos. Because they are pretty frequent. Also I drop my phone on my face a lot while texting at night because the way I have to hold my phone over my face to text is not ideal. Okay, now my friends would laugh at me. But I laugh at me too, so its okay.
3. Picking up small objects requires a new technique.
I went in to pick up a bobby pin, and when my fingers were almost there to get it, they were redirected upward because my nails were longer than the tips of my fingers. Needless to say, I didn't get the bobby pin. It's a very odd sensation to pick up things with something you can't feel. It's especially weird because its really only for small, delicate objects. I haven't even tried to change earrings or contact lenses yet. I'm a little terrified to think about it.
Another strange thing worth noting is the weight of the acrylics on the tips of your fingers. Just sitting around, I can feel something on top of my real nails. But, I'm hoping this will go away in a few more days. It's a little annoying.
4. My nails are now this cool multi-tool.
They're like my nails, a musical instrument, an effective hair brush, and I can finally scratch the inside of my ear. It's the most glorious experience of my life thus far. Not to mention any other itch I have as well. My cats also enjoy my new nails. They like to be pet anyway, but after finding how amazing my nails were they were running up to me to be scratched.
5. Nightmares where the acrylic nail has suddenly vanished are normal.
About every other night, my dreams feature me looking at my hands only to find that several fake nails have magically disappeared. There hasn't been any blood or anything, I just look down and find my normal nail with no polish. And of course because it's a nightmare I scream and think I am dying. Some of them seem incredibly real. But every morning, I wake up and my nails are still there. This is yet another thing that I hope will go away in time.
6. At first, I felt like a princess. Incapable of doing anything.
No offense to those princesses who can do things though. Right before the tech painted my nails, she asked for my payment. I was really confused. My best friend had to tell me that you pay before they paint them so you don't mess them up. Then I wasn't allowed to do or hold anything for about thirty minutes after having them. She wouldn't let me--told me I'd mess up my nails. This didn't last very long, but there were other thing later that I personally felt incapable of doing. Changing clothes and putting my hair up are particularly hard, and these are things I do every day. I just feel like they're going to pop right off! The hardest part for me is realizing that they won't and that I can carry about my day as normal. But I am hoping this notion will eventually go away completely.
7. But now, I feel like a princess. Pretty!
I look at my hands and it kind of feels like there are someone else's nails on my fingers, but they do look gorgeous. I got this totally boring color that I am in love with, and they make me so happy. I don't feel like my hands look incomplete or dirty--they just constantly look pretty. And I love them. The minor inconveniences are totally worth it if I feel great. And I play this great new instrument--the acrylic nails. Yep, all my friends hate it. And I just laugh at them for being so easily bothered. Haha
